'Unicorn poop' cookies by Ross Sveback

Let's not pretend unicorns don't exist – we all know that they do. I have been telling my niece Gretchen for years that my pet unicorn, aptly named ‘Unicorny' is the reason my side mirror was cracked on a previous vehicle I owned. I told her he was galloping up beside me to say goodbye when I was leaving one weekend and he accidentally put his head down and hit the mirror with his horn. So in the spirit of fun – let's celebrate the wonder of imagination with these cookies. CAUTION – these are futzy, so making them with two or three people will make the job a ton less frustrating and keep the dough chunks covered so they do not dry out as it does take time to roll out all the ropes. I used each of the following Americolor food pastes – Electric Blue, Electric Purple, Electric Yellow, Electric Orange, Electric Pink – even Leaf Green would be great, let your imagination guide you.

1 1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 c. butter-flavor shortening

3 oz. cream cheese

2 eggs

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

1 tbsp. vanilla extract

4 c. AP flour

In the bowl of a stand mixer, add the sugar, butter, shortening and cream cheese – beating until creamed, making sure to scrape the bowl if necessary. Add the eggs, one at at time – making sure they are incorporated, then add the vanilla, baking powder and salt. Beat well to combine, scraping the bowl to ensure it is mixed evenly. Finally add the flour and mix for roughly a minute on medium high – you will see the batter come together and then kind of loosen up (I hope this makes sense).

Remove the bowl from the mixer and turn the dough out onto a large sheet of parchment which you have placed on your counter. Form the dough into a ball and divide into six equal pieces. Place five into sealable sandwich bags, cut the sixth piece into roughly five equal pieces and drop each into those into the five sandwich bags.

Take each type of desired food coloring you are using and add it into the bag along with the dough – placing one color into each bag. Press out most of the air and seal the bag, then begin to knead the dough to incorporate the color into it. You will see the color saturate the dough, don't worry about it being absolutely perfect.

Once the colors are incorporated into the dough inside the bag, then open the bags and place them onto the parchment, then forming into a ball – you can knead the dough more at this point too if you see any streaking of color.

Cut each color of dough into 8, equally-sized pieces (roughly – this is not an exact science). I simply keep cutting things roughly in half, over and over. Place these pieces, grouped in their respective color on plates or bowls, just to keep them organized. Take one of each color piece and cut it in half again – yes, you will end up making 16 cookies in total. Roll each color into a log, roughly the size of a pencil, followed by another color. I place three colors wide and the other two colors on top of the three – alternating them so no two cookie combinations are alike – again, I'm not taking notes here – just mixing it up. Sometimes the logs will break or be wider in certain areas than others – not a big deal. Once you have the five colors together, then gently twist the five together 3 or 4 times to create a little swirl effect. Finally pull up the end to create a poop effect and twist it around the rest of the log. When they bake, they will flatten, yet it still makes it somewhat higher in the center. FYI – chilling the dough will not make them stand up anymore than not chilling the dough.

As you make each ‘poo', place it on a silpat-lined baking sheet. Six fit on a half-sheet pan. Sprinkle with Ice Disco Dust, rainbow nonpareils, and silver stars (click on link to find each item).

Place in an oven that has been preheated to 350 and bake for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow cookies to cool for five minutes before taking off the pan and placing on a cooling rack to finish cooling. Enjoy!

If you would like to have Ross custom-make you a fresh batch of Unicorn Poop Cookies, please contact him at Ross@RossSveback.com - 18 cookies is $40, this does not include shipping if necessary.

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